The Pratt's Guide to Heart Warrior Parenting

Today marks week 27, the final week of the 2nd Trimester and the calm before the moving storm. For the normal pregnancy, we'd have 13 more weeks to chug along and plan, but since our first open heart surgery requires more planning than usual, we've lost a week. Sand in the hour glass seems to be spiraling downward at breakneck speed. 12 weeks feels like 12 days right now. Albert Einstein might have more interesting things to say about this perception, but you guys are stuck with me. Tomorrow is filled with house appointments which I will thankfully not be present for, but will still bite my nails with worry over. Is our house structurally sound? Gosh, I sure hope so- we do still live here. Is it worth what the other appraiser said it was? Is it worth more (yes, please) or less (ahhh, no!!!)? Radon? Not last time we checked, but who knows? Tomorrow is basically final exam day. If everything goes well, we're full steam ahead. If not, well, I'm trying not to contemplate ...

Despite this world being extraordinarily challenging for a lot of people, there is a significant amount of ignorance surrounding how to be present with people experiencing tough circumstances. This is less an indictment of individuals and more so a judgment of our culture. Even in the church, there is little instruction on how to mourn. There's a whole book of the bible dedicated to grief and, in my 31 years of life, I have yet to hear a teaching that truly delves into how to lament our own circumstances or how to be present with others that are grieving. This lack of education does us all a great disservice- not just to the person experiencing great pain, but also to those who want to help and don't know how.  If you read Lamentations 1:16, you'll note while Jerusalem is going through a horrible situation, it's not just the situation that is being lamented, but also the lack of friends to comfort her.  "This is why I weep and my eyes overflow with tears. ...

This week, we had 3 prenatal appointments: Urology, Fetal ECHO, and the Surgeon/PCICU introduction. On top of that was listing our home on Wednesday and showings this weekend (a more solid update on that later). So, needless to say, it's been a big one both emotionally and strategically. First up, the urology appointment- as noted in a previous post, our urologist with the apt name, Dr. Weiner, went very well. Dilation, while more than average is not pronounced enough to raise concerns and testing after birth will confirm if any other actions need to be taken, but surgery is unlikely. So, all in all, we count our blessings on that front. The Fetal ECHO on Thursday also went well. Fun fact: 24-25 week ECHOs are particularly helpful because the heart is bigger than earlier scans (so easier to see all sections) and baby's bones are not yet solid, so the picture is uninhibited by shadows. This is the most clear a scan we will likely have, so the news at this appointment is real...

While Valentine's Day has just passed, it might interest you to know the entire month of February is dedicated to Congenital Heart Defect (CHD) Awareness and there are so many kinds of CHD: ASD, AVS, CoA, CVAC, HLHS, HRHS, PDA, VSD ... the list goes on and on. These kids are unique people and their conditions are unique to them, but the common denominator with these all these sweet babies and children is their overarching call sign, "Heart Warrior." I did some digging, but apparently not enough, and I can't seem to get a bead on who coined the term or when. Regardless, our son is a Heart Warrior, thus a nuanced part of our blog title is now explained. For our son, this call sign will be like a second name to him. He will grow up being "[Insert Chosen Boy Name Here], Heart Warrior." He likely won't add it to a resume, but it will be at the core of who he is. I wonder what that will be like for him. Like any born identity, I'm sure it will be norma...

The week has started out anxious and exhausted, but it has not been without some wins. Let me back-track for a sec- Saturday, we went on a house hunting marathon, seeing 8 homes in 4 & 1/2 hours with our awesome real estate agent (if you need one, lemme know and I'll send her your way). It was informative on several different levels: 1) day dates are amazing, even if it's house hunting. Parents of toddlers forget sometimes that they actually like their spouses and a day date can really help clear up that uncertainty. 2) The housing market is HOT in Durham. Seriously. As an example, we were midway through a house tour when our real estate agent got an email stating the house had gone into contingency from a showing earlier that morning and that our showing was cancelled. 3) All it takes is the right house in the right neighborhood to send you on a love-sick bender that can consume your every waking thought. Sunday, we made our offer on the house we want and the anxiety c...

It’s amazing what children’s books can teach you. Seriously, pick up a really good children’s book and you might learn something if you’re not robotically reading as you think about all the things you need to do (which I find myself doing way too often). I’ve read Dr. Seuss’, “I Had Trouble Getting to Solla Sollew” a handful of times in the last 2 years, but the last time I read it I was floored. The light bulb came on, the heart softened, and the eyes might have even gotten a little misty. Feel free to chuckle or blame hormones- or both, but Dr. Seuss was nothing short of a philosopher and a really good one at that. To summarize, our narrator (unnamed) was having a pretty decent life when some things went unexpectedly wrong. Having never encountered real trouble before, a passing man convinces him to journey to Solla Sollew (“where they never have troubles, at least very few”) and in the process of finding this mystical land the narrator learns a few things- one of which is that -S...

Oh, the pains of selling a house! The number of hours it takes to get a house ready to sell just from a packing standpoint is massive, but then you factor in all the "punch list" items- those things that you walk by everyday and think, "I need to fix this soon," and continue to walk past, day after day, week after week until suddenly you can't wait anymore because strangers are going to walk into your house soon and wonder if they really want to deal with that . And there are so many thats.  We have been so lucky to have close friends who've volunteered their time and energy to helping us with our punch list, much of the work including heavy lifting that would otherwise be left to Logan to complete on his own. Even as headaches arise, like our dishwasher randomly throwing a leak error code, the list of mercies has continued to increase with every day that passes: the Samsung service tech confirming we would not have to pay for the $200 replacement part or ...

Someone recently asked me whether it was better that we found out our son has a Congenital Heart Defect (CHD) before he was born or if we wished we didn't know until after. It's actually a really good question and I don't think every parent would answer the same. For us, we prefer that we know prior to our son's birth. Don't get me wrong, knowing is hard . Knowing means a loss- we've lost our innocent anticipation of our second child and we've lost peace of mind. What we've gained by trading the normal pregnancy process is weeks and weeks of planning and preparation. And there is SO much to prepare for. A couple of things which dawned on us within the first 36 hours following our son's HLHS diagnosis was 1) our house is too small and 2) we should move before our son is born. Everything we've done in the last 6 weeks have been driven by these realizations. A lot of what we'll do in the next 16 weeks will be driven by these same epiphanies. B...