Updates on Baby Boy & Some Musings (on the occasion of our 9th Wedding Anniversary)

The week leading up to closing has been jam-packed. Tuesday, we signed off on our buyer's Due Diligence requests- completing the process of selling our house a day early. Yesterday, Logan and I celebrated 9 years of marriage and had our 2nd to last Fetal ECHO. That doesn't include our day jobs, all the quotes on home repairs we're working through with our agent, or the massively unenjoyable temper tantrums we are blitzed with at all hours of the day and night. Our faerie-like daughter has begun to moonlight as a super villain and she is (unfortunately) quite good at it.

The Fetal ECHO went as hoped- no new complications. It's funny what good news looks like when you live in bad news, but we'll take the good news however and whenever it appears. While we are not yet booked for our induction, we have a pretty decent idea of when that will happen, so things are starting to take real shape.

We are sustained by the raw excitement of moving into a new place and all the wonderful people who have volunteered to come out and help us pack and unpack. I can say personally, the idea of mild nesting and lots of rest in the last 8 weeks leading up to our son's birth is also keeping me going for these last few days.

And... our son has a name, though we're not sharing it with everyone quite yet.

In light of our 9th wedding anniversary, it occurred to me this year for us is a microcosm of an entire marriage, cranked up to near light speed. So far, we have experienced the excitement of expecting a child, unexpected devastation, shared depression, anxiety, and fear, prepped a house to sell, began the house hunt. Soon, we'll have sold/bought a home, delivered a child, and will complete the circle by entering into a medically difficult time compounded by the fact that we still have a 2 year old to raise. For better or worse. In sickness and in health. Let me just say, it's no joke.

Marriage is not an easy venture, even when you're married to the best man this world has to offer- which I am. I've always wanted to see what Prince Eric and Princess Ariel's life was like post honeymoon, bleary-eyed and short tempered after too little sleep with a newborn. Or the tension of two adventurous souls trying to figure out what dream to pursue next. How would they fare in our circumstances? Even with the best match-up, life is complicated and the simple fact is that no one, not even Ariel, is perfect.

But marriage perfection, that thing we all think is attainable because Disney says so, seems kind of boring not to mention, unrealistic. The truth is there is beauty in the broken, not because it is broken, but because of all the mercy and grace that is required to patch us up. And because none of us are perfect, that mercy and grace is in a constant state of motion, given and received. Received and given, neither of us holding the power of forgiveness too long before we must hand it back to the other out of necessity.

This 9th year has taught us a great many things about each other- about our resilience and our capacity to both despair and to hope. It has taught us how to rely on one another more, how to support one another. To be fair, it's also taught us that we aren't enough for each other- we struggle together, but we also struggle as individuals and despite all our best intentions, we can't fix one another. This is a universal failing of all people in all marriages. The thing that keeps us from splitting apart is not actually a thing, but Jesus at the center of both our lives. He shows mercy so that we can be merciful. He heals broken paths so we can walk them without falling off the edges. He softens hearts when no amount of reason or logic could hope to break through the diamond-strong barriers we erect. We are 9 years married not out of sheer talent, luck, or white knuckled stubbornness,  but because the center of our marriage is Jesus- a magnet pulling us together even as our circumstances work hard to pull us in opposite directions.